Not For You

Coward. It was never necessary to lie to me. It hurt that I had to hear the truth from the mouth of your perfect girl. Who, in my own bitter words, is nothing but a drunken whore.

Friends? That would have been nice, but with the way you went about things, there were bound to be hard feelings. Even if I had, until now, never chosen to voice them.

I know I wasn't perfect. I talked too much and was selfish. I'm the size and shape of a planet, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I seem to think everything revolves around me. Your constant showering with gifts only proved to reinforce that belief.

I was your second choice. I must have forgotten what you told me in the beginning. How could you have ever loved me when your heart was already so fully devoted to another? Conveniently, you never tried to remind me.

I don't want you to think that I hate you. I just think that you're making a terrible mistake. I may have been seflish, but at least I never relied on you to babysit me. How is the career going as a designated driver?

I'm changing myself. Not in any major way, of course, but I am working on improving my self-destructive behavior while simultaneously making an effort to become more healthy. Don't think for a moment that any of these changes are for you.

I have to speak up. Even if it is only in the form of a poem. After all, I'm not the first to voice their hurt solely in written words. I never talk to you anyway.

So expect these words, though they do not travel a direct route from my mouth to your ear, to be the last words from me that you will ever hear.